Time is NOT on My Side

   It's been a while. Like, a really long while, compared to the usual time between my posts. And that's what it all comes down to---time. And money. But in this case time.

   The new school year has definitely flung me back into the realm of busy-even-when-you're-not-doing-anything. Yes, there have been times when I could have sat down and written something, but there always seemed to be something else waiting for me. I wish I had the care-free weekends and afternoons like countless of my fellow peers, but that never really seems to happen.

   Woah I just typed without looking!! I did it again!

   Sorry for the minor, completely idiotic interruption.

   So like I was saying, time never seems to visit me much. I try my best to make room for everything going on, but that isn't always successful. But what're you going to do?

   Still, I'm trying to do things. Aside from the preset things I have to do (school, homework, tech, and work) I was to find time for my creative escapades I plan on accomplishing this year. Some things on that list include make a short film, move forward with my book, finish a song or two, cover my wall in photographs, and make a piece of my own clothing. Pretty cool, eh?

   So I'm going to do all of my artistic plans on the side, as hobbies I suppose, and focus on majoring in Geology. Of course, that could change over the next year or so, but I need to give myself more specific goals so they can be achieved to the best of my abilities.

   I don't think I can ever recall having a first week of school quite like this one.

   For starters, I missed the bus the very first day. Lame, I know. But it isn't as cut-and-dry as it seems. You see,  my bus stop was cut due to costs and they (the district or whomever is responsible) failed to inform myself, my parents, or the others at my stop, AKA my 2 brothers and a kid down the street. So, we rode the middle school bus that morning, and ended up being late to school. The very first day.
   The second day was... better and worse, depending on which way you looked at it. First off, it was picture day, so it was bound to be awful. Also, towards the end of 2nd block (AP Calculus AB) I became extremely tired and became a zombie for the rest of the day.
   Today was supposed to finally be normal. We would have class at the normal time, get on and off the bus the way it was regrettably going to be done for the rest of the year, etc. But of course we can't have a normal day, now can we?! No. I walk all the way up the steep hill to my new bus stop, only to find out once I reach the top that school is cancelled. CANCELLED. Fantastic.
   I'm sure for most people that was good news. And yes, I did get to sleep an extra 3 hours and now I can finish last night's homework. But I honestly hate missing school. Even if I hate it, and at some points in the day I do, I still rather be stuck there than have to stay home. But there isn't much I can do about the weather and what it does to the school.
   Anyhow, now that I have released at least part of my anger towards society, back to the real stuff. The things in life that matter. This past week relates to a lot of things I've already talked about: things not going according to plan, change, perspective. But there is a world beyond this week, and those things. I plan on discovering that world, which is not a simple task, and cannot happen over night. But no matter what I end up doing in life, I plan on making an impact. I don't want life to pass me by without having any sort of recognition for what I did in it. So I'm going to make sure it doesn't.

More Than Meets the Eye

   Change is a tricky thing. It can either be for the better or for the worse. It can be for a purpose, or unintentional. Sometimes change is welcome, and sometimes it is unwanted. Maybe it was for no reason, or perhaps it was inevitable. Some people will accept or even encourage your changes, while others may reject them. Basically, change is almost always complicated.
   Most of the time, I fear change. Terrified of it. Anything from a switch in my routine to moving to a new school. I never really knew why I would get so upset when a friend of mine would appear to slip from my grasp after a period of time. But it really comes down to change and growing up. In some cases, one person would mature and the other would not. Or perhaps one made a decision that changed them in ways the other couldn't help. Sometimes good, and other times, very bad.
   But as I grow up, grow more mature, and grow to be more aware of myself, I realize that sometimes change is necessary. When I stopped and looked at the life I was living, I wasn't as happy as I was pretending to be. Kind of like a postcard from a luxury cruise that felt like the equivalent of hell. Now, my life wasn't, or isn't, anything like hell, but I had a tortured soul. I was lying to myself, pretending that what I had was what I wanted. And I truly did think it was. But people make mistakes.
   So as I evaluated my life, I decided that it was time for a change. A good change. Not one that would upset me or those around me. And that's how I came up with my goals, or what you could call a checklist. I currently have a list of things I'd like to accomplish this year to help me reach my goals for my future life. Most of the things on there are just to test my limits, to help me enjoy life. Some even simultaneously help me decide what I want to do with my life. The whole idea of the checklist is to get me to experience my life in every way I can (within reason of course) so I can be more aware of life.
   I changed my hair. I changed my perspective. I changed my goals. I changed the path my life was leading me down (now, it is quite wide, which is great for my claustrophobia). I know these changes are all for the best so I'm not worried about making decisions that could potentially harm myself or others I care about at this point in my... transformation I guess you could call it. And if you don't like what you see, I'm terribly sorry. I honestly don't give a damn.